Create your own happiness

April 16, 2009 at 1:33 pm 2 comments

I’ve been thinking about personal responsibility lately. There are two opposite kinds of people: Those who take responsibility for themselves, and those who don’t.


Are subject to anger, hostility, fear, resentment, doubt-all sorts of negative emotions. They are always making excuses and blaming people and things for what’s going on in their life. Do you ever say to yourself or others any of the following?

*  Life is so unfair.
*  I’m unlucky.
*  It’s not my fault that I’m the way I am.
*  My parents (spouse, friends, coworkers, boss, health, the weather, or the political situation) make me depressed (angry or frustrated).
*  I feel overwhelmed and helpless.
*  I can’t succeed because of the corrupt government, blood-sucking corporations, greedy employers, and back-stabbing coworkers.
*  I’m unsuccessful because of the prejudice (age discrimination, sexism, jealousy, hatred, stupidity) of others.

Terms used to describe those who have not accepted personal responsibility include martyrs, self-pitying, depressed, losers, quitters, chronically angry, dependent personalities, complainers, addictive personalities, blamers, stubborn, persons in denial, troubled people, stuck, fearful, pessimists, despondent, mentally unstable, obstinate, hostile, aggressive, irresponsible, weak, guilt-ridden, resistant to help, passive, irrational, insecure, neurotic, obsessed and lost.


Are fully integrated, fully functioning human beings. Responsibility goes hand in hand with success, achievement, motivation, happiness and self-actualization. T

here seems to be a direct relationship between responsibility and happiness on the one hand, and irresponsibility and unhappiness on the other hand.


The key to happiness is having a sense of control over what’s going on in your life. The more responsibility you take, the more in control you are. And the freer you are, especially in your own mind, to make decisions and to do the things you want to do.

If a change in your life is warranted, why not begin by recognizing that your present situation is not the result of your genes, parents, education, job, luck, timing, health, or environment. Rather, it is the choices you have made and the actions you have taken that have brought you where you are today.

If you want to be happy, decide upon the kind of life situation in which you would feel wonderful. Think of the very best times of your life, and think of what you were doing, where you were doing it, and the people you were with at the time. Then write out, in complete detail, a description of your ideal lifestyle. Now you have defined the effect that you desire. Next, look at your current life and ask yourself, “What are all the things in my life that are inconsistent with the lifestyle that would make me happy?” In other words, look at the causes of the effects that you don’t like. Then make a decision to begin alleviating or removing those causes, one by one, until what you have left is the kind of life you want to live.

Personal responsibility is the freedom to create our own lives.  It’s easy to shift the responsibility and blame others or events. But what good is that? All it does is keep us in a rut. We cannot make any real progress until we admit to ourselves, “Only I can hold myself back. Only I can help myself.

If it’s to be, it’s up to me.

Take responsibility for yourself, and create your own happiness.


Entry filed under: Health and wellness. Tags: , , , , .

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2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Mr X  |  June 14, 2009 at 1:08 am

    I can relate to a few of the above (I feel overwhelmed and helpless, angry, fearful, despondent, weak, guilt-ridden, irrational, insecure) and I know it’s all about how we perceive things and we choose our thoughts and I am constantly trying to change my mind set.
    You mention “If you want to be happy, decide upon the kind of life situation in which you would feel wonderful” well I don’t know any more, I want to try different things but nothing excites me so I’m not motivated, there is no passion or “wow I love this or would love to give this a go” factor any more, even though I make myself look for the positive the mindset naturally goes to the negative and I have to constantly push it away.
    Everyone tells me I am so like my dad and for the most part I agree, the major difference between dad and myself is he loved life and didn’t want to die where as I constantly wish I had never been born.
    Any way after all those negative comments of mine I hear what you are trying to say here Suzi and I agree with it but it is easier said than done and there are some causes that we really have no control over.

    • 2. suzimorris  |  June 14, 2009 at 4:22 am

      Response to Mr X: Thanks for your honest comments. Your words “nothing excites me so I’m not motivated, there is no passion” indicate that your soul is tired of struggling. Sounds like you are drowning in negativity, overwhelmed by circumstances and need someone to throw you a set of floaties so that you can keep your head above water while you swim for shore. Let me encourage you – there is a shore, and it is beautiful. You are meant to swim for it, but that is hard to do when you can’t get your head above water long enough to see where the shore is! I have more to say, so will send you a personal email. Let me encourage you by saying that you are the creator and author of YOUR life, and you have immense power and potential. May you experience the inner freedom to make decisions that will release you to realise your potential.


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