September 20, 2009 at 1:37 pm 1 comment

What a question!  There have been many songs, poems, books and articles written on the topic, but I think the media has done us no favours when it comes to our understanding of what love is.      Love_heart_uidaodjsdsew

When love is portrayed as something that happens to us by chance  – we “fall in love”, self responsibility is removed.  If we later “fall out of love” it is not our fault – we can’t be blamed because we didn’t choose for it to happen in the first place.

In relationships many people think that love is a feeling, and that when the feeling fades or disappears, the love is gone and they should move on.  I believe that love is more a choice than a feeling.  We can choose to act on principles rather than feelings, so we can choose to love even though we may not “feel” like it.  It is when the initial rush of being “in love” fades and we are faced with a choice as to how we behave that the work of real love can begin.

Love is also an action word.  It is not something to just reflect upon or talk about – it is something you do.  The desire to love is not love. Love is as love does.

Love has to start with self, but it is not selfish.  It is not possible to love someone else if you do not love yourself, but love which is ultimately selfish and self serving is not love at all.  True love will seek what is best for others, without ensuring satisfaction of our own desires.  And what is best for others is not what WE think is best for them.  Love gives the space and freedom for them to make those decisions for themselves.

Love encourages growth of ourselves and others.  Our unconditional love frees another from the fear of disapproval to be true to themselves and reach their highest potential.  Love  at times has to be tough.  Growth requires hard work which we would rather avoid.  Real love does not facilitate the stagnation of our own or another’s development, but confronts, encourages and supports growth.

So I think love is a choice, an action, which starts with self and encourages growth.  You may disagree with me.  It is not easy to define love.  There is a definition by M Scott Peck in his book “The Road Less Travelled” which I really like.  It is:

I define love thus:  The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.

The next 16 chapters of his book expand upon his definition.  It makes for very good reading.

Please share with me your response to the question:  What is love? by leaving a comment below.

PS:  I am delighted to be an independent distributor for the Polaris Media Group.  The company is built upon the belief that, given practical education, every individual has the ability to realize their inherent potential and live a life of personal fulfillment.  To find out more:  Click here


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Polaris Media Group The Simple Key to Happier Feelings

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. ian T  |  September 27, 2009 at 10:25 am

    Thought provoking………. its easy to define when its all about passion….over time it becomes a state of mind….even a comfort zone……. less easy to define…..


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